Title: Heaven and Hell Author: Phoenix Angel Suyari
Original Source: X-Men Evolution Character(s): Warren W. & Rogue (Marie)
Rating: M Genre(s): Drama/Romance
Chapter(s): 1 Status: Complete?
Author’s Synopsis: Warren/Rogue round two!
Oh my God, I thought with my streak of bad fiction being broken I would begin a streak of awesome fiction. Nope. By the way, I am the Fan Fic Reviewer; reviewing the good, the bad, and those that should never exist in fan fiction. For the better part of last week I was stuck in a rut of bad fan fiction that ultimately ended with yesterday’s review, but apparently it was not to stay. Instead, I found this story in my archives and decided, “oh hey, why don’t I read this story since it has Rogue in it and she’s my favorite X-Men!” I’m so stupid at times and now I’m paying for it.
This is the sort of sequel to A Heavenly Experience, which I have neither read nor will I; not after reading this BS of a story. I don’t even know if this is a story; there’s a beginning, middle, and an end but so do songs. *Groans.* This *points at the story* thing frustrates me!
*Takes a breath.* I guess I’ll just start with what it’s “about,” since the synopsis is not exactly helpful.
The “plot” of the story is Warren and Rogue have a misunderstanding and Rogue runs out on Warren. Now, Warren is stuck wallowing in his misery without his beloved. Yeah…that’s about it. There’s something in there about the problem with Rogue’s powers and it preventing intimacy, but that shows up later when the primary problem (Rogue leaving Warren) has yet to resolve itself. *Shrugs.* I can’t even provide a clear synopsis of this story because it lacks an EFFING PLOT!
I apologize for my outburst. It seems that my latest string of bad fan fiction has given me less patience for stories such as this one. Everything seems to be coming to a boil and this story will receive the brunt of my frustrations.
*Cracks knuckles.* Let the beating commence.
I’ll get this one out of the way; the grammar. For the love of all organic life forms, pick a tense. Past, future, present, I don’t care but pick one and stick with it. Stop flip-flopping because one moment the POV is from an omniscient being and the next is from the 3rd person stalking Warren and providing commentary. I know that these are not the technical terms for the 2 types of 3rd person POV, but this is what it felt like I was reading. Either I was receiving commentary from Warren’s stalker or getting Warren’s experience on the events.
Here’s a sample of the POV changes:
“To any casual observer, the sight before them would be a miracle. A beautiful angel with large white wings and soft golden hair. His stance was mournful as he stared out at the ragging storm. The occasional lightening bolt illuminating the sky, as well as the angel and his surroundings, would bring any God fearing man to his knees. It truly was a breathtaking sight, and also a sad one. The angel was grieving and no angel should be sad. They have no reason to be, or do they?”
That’s the first paragraph too! Then during the flashback sequence the POV changes.
“Warren sat on his bed frozen in shock. What had just happened? It took him a couple of minutes to process everything. As he realized what she meant by “It’s over” his heart stopped. He couldn’t believe it. No he’d probably heard her wrong. She couldn’t have meant they were over. No, he’d probably heard her wrong. Not after all this time. Tears threatened and he felt as if he couldn’t breathe. Slowly he got up and walked over to the magazine she’d thrown. He picked it up dreading what he might find. He flipped through it with blind eyes, then closed it forlornly.”
Here is a sample of the tense changes:
“An informed observer would tell you yes, for an informed observer would tell you the glorious angel framed in nature’s precious light was none other than Warren Worthington III. Just your average young man. No angel. Not in the traditional sense. He is no champion of God, nor man. He was not sent from Heaven, unless you count being born. He is not here to judge. No, far from it. He is here to be safe from judgment, and those who would hate him. He is here because he is a mutant. But that’s not why he’s upset. No, that is the furthest thing from his mind.”
Yup…that’s this story.
Readers, if you couldn’t tell by the samples that there are other grammar issues as well. Basic mistakes too, like misusing “there,” “their,” and “they’re,” and incorrectly using “nor.” There are a lot of fragment sentences as well. It’s a disaster.
Beyond the basics, the story itself is flawed with the exclusion of resolution. The conflict is built up (misunderstanding between Warren and Rogue leading to a broken relationship) but it’s never resolved. In fact, the characters do not reference the misunderstanding. Warren doesn’t try to explain the situation and Rogue ignores it. Instead, it comes down to Rogue returning to Warren and them having (implied) make-up sex.
Oh my God, the sex! It’s not graphic, because it’s implied and I’m not 100% certain it even happens. The story says how they can never have sex (“Her body conforms to his in a perfect display of unity they will never know.”), yet a few paragraphs later the story implies they have sex (“Neither can recall how they made it to the bed. Though both can accurately describe the ecstasy to this day.”). So did they, or didn’t they? No one will ever know.
Back to the conflict, the misunderstanding between Warren and Rogue is never resolved (even though half of the story is built around it!). The other “conflict,” Rogue’s powers preventing intimacy, is overcome by…Warren’s tongue? I don’t understand it and the story tries to…“explain” it in the final paragraph, but it doesn’t make a lick of sense.
Here’s the final paragraph:
“Neither can recall how they made it to the bed. Though both can accurately describe the ecstasy to this day. And how something so beautiful came from something so simple. For as everyone knows, the tongue is immune. The curse belongs only to the flesh.”
What the hell does that even mean? Are certain parts of the body able to deflect Rogue’s powers? I know that by definition of her powers, it’s skin-to-skin contact but I don’t think the tongue suddenly gets around that power. I doubt that actually works. Plus, it would still limit how much they can do in terms of intimacy. The tongue opens up some doors but others are still left closed and Warren would have to get creative to use his tongue and avoid touching Rogue with any other part of his body that has skin. I call BS on this “resolution.”
There’s another part to this story that I take issue with; it’s Warrens reason (excuse) behind the events that lead to the misunderstanding. Just so this makes sense, the misunderstanding is that Rogue sees a tabloid/paper feature a news article about Warren marrying another chick and showing a photo of Warren kissing the chick. His reason for kissing the chick is “she’d asked him to. She’d never been kissed before and who better to ask than your best friend.” Oh yeah. Here’s a better person to ask, the best friend who is single.
I know some Readers will disagree with me, but to me Warren’s reasoning behind his actions is weak. Knowing how his parents operate, why would Warren risk kissing the heiress to another billionaire mogul anywhere where the paparazzi can snap a photo? I don’t know how Warren’s parents fill about Rogue since it’s never mentioned, but I’ll assume they disapprove of her and will use whatever tactics to separate her from their son. So, again, why would Warren do something so stupid? “Because he’s her friend?” Would Warren also take the other woman’s virginity too, because they’re friends?
I’m sorry but this really makes me want a resolution between Warren and Rogue about this misunderstanding. Have Rogue and Warren talk about it and figure out if Warren actually kissed the other woman because he’s intimacy-starved due to Rogue’s powers, or some other reason. Then have them work it out. Sure it could lead to them splitting up again, but at least the conflict would be resolved and it would open up the door for the 2nd conflict (Rogue’s powers and intimacy).
Okay, I’ve ranted long enough about the story’s flaws (numerous flaws), let me touch on the good points of the story.
The conflict set up. Everything in the flashback for the conflict setup is fine. It’s a great set up (ignoring grammar errors, of course) and provides a situation that challenges the love between couples. That’s about it though. There are no other redeeming qualities.
I do not recommend this waste of digital space. Readers, do not put yourselves through the pain of reading this story. It’s is not worthy of attention. While true that this is not the worst story I have ever read, it is not a good story either. It’s a bad story. Spare yourselves and find a better fan fic to pass the time.
This is Idunwanaprofile; reviewing the good, the bad, and those that should never exist in fan fiction. I wish all my Readers, happy reading, and pray to find some decent fan fics to read.