Stay Out of the Alley Review

Title:  Stay Out of the Alley                                           Author: Twinings

Source: Batman (Comics)                                              Character(s): Scarecrow & The Riddler

Rating:  T                                                                     Genre(s): Humor

Chapter(s): 11                                                               Status: Complete

Author’s Synopsis: It started with Valentine’s Day.  Things went downhill from there. [CAT]


Welcome Readers, so we’re going to start off my month of Valentine’s Day fan fiction strong!  Ha!  I can’t say that with a straight face.  I’m not even sure about this story I’m going to review.  I mean, the description says “Valentine’s Day” but I think the holiday got left behind and might have been entirely forgotten.  Oh well, I’ve already read the story and I have my notes for this review; I may as well just go through with it.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am your reviewing host, the Fan Fic Reviewer; here to review the good, the bad, and those that should never exist in fan fiction.  Today I present…I’m not even sure what I’m reviewing.  I read the story and I’ve come out of it wondering, “What the fuck did I just read?”  No joke, I don’t know how to sell this story.

I guess I’ll start by saying what I thought this story was going to be about.  From the description and knowing who the two lead characters were (Scarecrow and Riddler), I was prepared to read a slash fiction between these two super villains.  A sort of romance that begins on Valentine’s Day and over the course of the 11 chapters comes around full circle so that it ends on the next Valentine’s Day where they celebrate as a couple.

That is NOT this story.

This story is about is one of Scarecrow’s hench women (Captain) who gets a boyfriend and over time she starts changing the way she dresses, the way she looks, and even starts contemplating body modifications to please her boyfriend.  However, it becomes apparent that the boyfriend is a scumbag who beats her and causes her to cry.  The other two hench women (Techie and Al) begin planning an “intervention” that includes stalking Captain and her boyfriend on their dates — using a super reluctant Jonathan and a willing Edward as their “dates.”  Eventually, it climaxes at a midnight, outdoor showing of Rocky Horror Picture Show where all the characters cosplay and Jonathan suddenly sees each of his hench women in outfits that show off their womanly forms.

I…I just don’t get it.  Either way, the story is what it is and I will review what I have been given; not what I expected.  So, I’ll start with story’s good points!

Um… Well, this is a little awkward.  I could’ve sworn there was something I could praise about this story.  Oh!  This story does a great job in providing an interesting insight into Scarecrow’s relationship with his hench women.  Jonathan Crane in this story actively chooses not to get close to his hench women or show undue interest, lest it be misconstrued.  He instead expresses a view of the girls as something that is between parental and women-I’m-interested-in; he feels that they must be reminded of his lack of interest in them and that they cannot have their loyalties divided.

To me, this portray makes sense for the psychologist super villain.  He’s intellectual and likes to get people mentally; so if the girls don’t wet his intellectual appetite but they’re good in the physical offense department then use the carrot and stick trick on them.  Keep them loyal by allowing them to fantasize a possible relationship with him while never actually encouraging it.

I also like that he is portrayed as the kind of man who gets restless and becomes irritated when others are distracted away from their goal / mission.  His annoyance at his companions’ lack of interest in following their fellow hench woman during the outdoor movie and later at a club is relatable.  Plus, I like that due to him being left alone and having to endure the attempts at conversations with “strangers,” he eventually resorts to releasing his fear toxins in a crowded building.

Now, let’s tackle this story’s weaknesses.

What was the point of this story?  I know it’s a humor and the uncomfortable situations Jonathan is tossed into are humorous, but overall, this is less of a humor — even dark humor — story and more of a “why did I just read this?”  I honestly do not know what the point of this story was; was it to show that even Jonathan Crane was not above the physical, sexual appeals of the women who surrounded him?  Was this entire story meant to be one giant Freudian dream?

…You know what, if taken from that perspective — this entire story is a dream meant to show that despite Crane’s outward indifference, inside he’s responding to the attractions of his hench women — then this story just got better.  Not by much, but at least then it does have a point and it’s presenting Crane’s subconscious struggles in a creative way.

You know what?  I think that with how the story ends, this was meant to be a Freudian dream analysis.  It makes so much sense and actually does make it a little funny.  It doesn’t make it a good story but it does make the ending far more clever than I was originally giving it credit.

However, a lack of a point (or plot) is not my only grievance with this story.  The information for this story suggests that the Riddler has a pretty big role to play – he’s listed as one of the characters in the story!  While he does make an appearance, he…his role is limited to making the numbers even for these “dates” where Techie and Al spy on Captain and her boyfriend.  The story tries to sell it as Techie and Al can’t both go on the dates unless they both have a man to be their “date.”  So, they ask Edward to be a date and have Jonathan fill the in the other spot.

To me this is a bit disappointing because the Riddler is a super villain, what is doing allowing two hench women to talk him into going on “dates” with them?  Why isn’t he offering ways to make the Captain’s boyfriend suffer?  Why doesn’t he make things more difficult – like request that they solve one of his riddles for information about where to find Captain and her boyfriend?  It just feels so out of character for the Riddler.

Here comes the big question, would I recommend this story?  Personally, I don’t think it’s worth the time to read.  Sure, there’s the end that if you read it as a Freudian analysis that makes the story a little worth it; but the story adds very little and isn’t nearly as fun or humorous as it could have been.  I feel little connection to the hench women characters and the role of the Riddler is reduced to number convenience.

So, I wouldn’t really recommend this as a must read type story, but if it sounds interesting, check it out.  I just wasn’t really all that impressed with it.


Stars: 3/10


Christmas Cargo Review

Title: Christmas Cargo                                                       Author: llembas

Source: Firefly                                                                  Character(s): Serenity’s Crew

Rating:  T                                                                          Genre(s): General

Chapter(s): 1                                                                     Status: Complete

Author’s Synopsis: Christmas on Serenity.



I bet some of you thought I wouldn’t post because it’s a holiday.  Well, I am posting.  I found this story while looking for holiday stories and I couldn’t pass it up.  It’s a Firefly fan fic and I’m a sucker for Firefly. Browncoat through and through.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am your reviewing host, the Fan Fic Reviewer; here to review the good, the bad, and those that should never exist in fan fiction.  This time I’m here with some good cheer and a great Christmas story to share.  Where do I start with this story?

Well, I suppose I can start by explaining what this story is about, other than “Christmas on Serenity.”  This is a one-shot that is written like an episode of Firefly; Christmas approaches and the crew gets a job to transport some illegally enhanced Christmas trees to Badger on Persphone.  Kaylee uses her own money to buy one of the trees to decorate Serenity.  Unfortunately, that tree brings as much trouble as cheer.

Just like an episode of Firefly, this story has all the twists and turns.  There are multiple subplots that intersect and brought together at the end.  Like the subplot of retrieving weapons from Shepherd Book’s old Abbey eventually intersects with Inara’s companion client and Kaylee’s tree.  Everything weaves together and in the end there are no loose threads.  It’s all tied into a beautiful holiday bow.

Now, I have a lot to praise about this story and very little to be critical.  So, most of this review is going to be me going through what makes this story great.  I’ll touch on a few things that could be seen as “flaws” but I will explain why I don’t see them as a flaw in the context of this story.

As I’ve mentioned, this story reads like an episode of Firefly.  The crew gets a job that isn’t entirely what it appears and some shenanigans occur to throw a wrench in completing the job.  It all wraps up with a minor showdown and a larger payout for the Serenity crew.  I wish this story was an actual episode, the characters are well-written, the plot is concise while being a bit goofy and emotional, and the pacing…  I wish Firefly would’ve gone beyond one season.

As I mentioned, the characters are well-written.  I loved the characters!  The interactions felt like they literally came from an episode – I know they didn’t because there was never a holiday episode and I have a very good memory for dialogue when it comes to this series.  Nobody felt shoehorned or dropped from the story.  Well, some could argue that Simon was dropped from the story as he appeared for a couple group scenes then disappeared.  However, I argue that given the events and where the ship was traveling to, it made sense that Simon would have a smaller role.  He’s the doctor and there wasn’t much need for him to take an active role in this story.

Also, continuing the comparison of this story to an episode, not all characters were given equal screen time in each episode.  Each episode had a focus and the characters significant to that focus were given the most screen time.  Same with this story.  This story focused on Kaylee, and a bit of Jayne.  Even Mal, Inara, Book, and Zoe were given supporting roles rather than leads.  So, I stand by my assessment that the characters behave just like they would in the series and nobody is out of place for the events; everyone is given the tasks that fit the character.

The ending is amazing.  I’m not going to spoil the ending; I will keep this vague while providing my view on it.  The ending reminded me how in the series the best things in the Verse could happen and Mal would still put a cynical spin on it.  His cynicism is well founded but makes others feel like he brings the joy down.  Mal’s words and perspective is in character, true, and heart-wrenching.

Then there’s the writing.  This story is obviously written by a true Browncoat; the characters are well written, the events all feel like an episode, and this story doesn’t bother with unnecessary writing.  What I mean is that often times stories – not AU (alternate universe) – will still feel this need to describe things that fans should already know; the layout of the ship, how the character looks, etc.  These unnecessary bits of writing are fillers when the story is taking a fandom with a foundation.  Any Browncoat will know what each of the characters look like, their mannerisms, the inside of Serenity, etc. so these things don’t require descriptions.  This story knows this and does not bother with those unnecessary fillers; instead it provides minimal input to help shape new settings and characters.

Now, where the writing uses description wisely is in the very beginning on the planet Angel.  Angel is where the crew picks up the trees and this part of the story gets the most amount of description.  The description is appropriate though because it’s a new location, never explored in the original series or by the characters.  So it should have description.  Other places though, Serenity’s cargo bay, engineering room, the Abbey, etc. they receive less descriptions because they’ve been visited before – except the Abbey but the description is based on Jayne’s perspective and he only cared about the lack of nuns.

This is a refreshing way of writing fan fiction.  It gives it more credence to the story being written like an episode.  Plus, it helped maintain the flow of the story.  In the beginning, when the crew starts off at Angel, the story can take its time and establish the job the crew was hired for and the goods.  However, as the story moves forward the pacing picks up – especially when it comes to light that Kaylee’s tree is holding some very illegal extras – and everything feels like it’s on a timer.  The lack of descriptions for the new locations help build that tension and sense of urgency.

That’s about it for me praising this story.  If continue I may as well just spoil the whole story but I don’t want that.  I want fans to go read this story.  Read this story.  It is truly the Christmas episode that never happened.  It is so worth the time to read its 20 pages.  Anyone who is not a Browncoat can read it too, sure it might lose some of its episodic feel but it is still an enjoyable sci-fi, Christmas story.

What are you doing still on my blog?  Click the link and read this story!

Oh, and Happy Holidays!  Whatever you celebrate this season, I wish you joy.


Stars: 10 / 10

Portal: First Christmas Review

Title:  Portal: First Christmas                                                 Author: Indiana

Source: Portal & Portal 2                                                        Character(s): GLaDOS & Chell

Rating:  K                                                                             Genre(s):  Parody / Humor

Chapter(s):  4                                                                       Status:  Complete

Author’s Synopsis: Christmas is coming! Oh noes!


Ladies and Gentleman – or in this case, test subjects – I am your reviewing host, the Fan Fic Reviewer; here to review the good, the bad, and those that should never exist in fan fiction.  It’s December!  That means there’s a lot of holiday (mostly Christmas) fan fiction out there for me to feast upon.  Not all of them will be good; some will be rotten but I’m sure to find a couple of delicacies this year.  I have several holiday fan fics lined up to review.  We’re starting with a bit of dark humor with a Portal fan fic.

The author’s synopsis does nothing to describe the story, so I’ll provide my own summary.  Christmas is approaching and Chell is having difficulties finding the perfect gift for GLaDOS.  What do you get a supercomputer?

Now that we’re all the same page, the story builds after the events of Portal 2 but instead of Chell leaving the lab for the great unknown, she camps outside the lab until GLaDOS offers her shelter.  GLaDOS becomes Chell’s companion, janitor, chef, and sex slave now that she has – I’m quoting the story here – “super realer-than-realistic hyper hyper realistic android” body.  Some of the elements of this post-Portal 2 world make sense – why wouldn’t GLaDOS have an android body that she could move herself into? – but there are other elements that make absolutely no sense.  For instance, why does GLaDOS know how to cook?  Where does that food come from?  Why is Chell okay with all of this?

The story brushes a lot of explanation aside with things of “plot convenience,” “science,” and how Chell has forgiven GLaDOS’ homicidal tendencies because GLaDOS saved her life and thus couldn’t be “bad.” On the one hand, those explanations are within the Portal humor but on the other hand it feels so out of place.  It’s been a while since I last played Portal but I remember GLaDOS rubbing things into Chell’s face and tossing insults – non-affectionate ones – at the test subject.  These “explanations” just feel a bit out of place and not nearly as funny as the game’s content.

The biggest grievance I have with the story is Chell’s characterization.  I have zero qualms about how much sex Chell and GLaDOS are implied to have, but I take issue with how dependent Chell is on GLaDOS.  GLaDOS does all the cleaning, cooking, and general providing while Chell gets to act like a petulant child.  There are instances in the story where Chell purposely throws a fit so that GLaDOS will comfort her.  Then there are the times where Chell purposely cries and withholds information – like her frustration in being unable to find a present for GLaDOS – just so GLaDOS will spend time with her and assure her that Chell is perfect as she and GLaDOS will always love her.  This clingy, overly dependent version of Chell is so unlike the character from the games and comics that it’s hard to reconcile the two.

Personally, I think the story could’ve still had Chell be dependent on GLaDOS for everything but instead of it being because Chell doesn’t want to be independent have it be that GLaDOS (subtly) refuses to let Chell become independent.  Having this forced dependency would make this already abusive relationship darker without totally demolishing Chell’s character.

Alright, so the shining light of this story is the end.  Thank God, the story played out as I hoped because if that twist never happened then I would write this story off as a complete waste of digital space.  However, the twist at the end kind of makes the crappy lead up worth it.  I won’t say what happens, but it is by far the most Portal-like thing to occur.

In the end, would I recommend the story?  Not really.  Not as a Portal fan fic or a Christmas story.  It doesn’t truly provide much story, depth, or new insight to the Portal world.  It is just an excuse to give GLaDOS a humanoid form and for Chell and GLaDOS to have sex.  *Shrug* Nothing much.  I’m sure there is a niche for this story but I’m definitely not in that group.


Stars: 3/10

The Air that I Breathe Review

Title: The Air the I Breathe                                                    Author:  Chellerbelle

Source: X-Men Movies                                                          Character(s): Rogue & Gambit

Rating: M                                                                             Genre(s): Drama / Adventure

Chapter(s): 122                                                                    Status: Complete

Author’s Synopsis:  Rogue copes with near isolationism when her powers return. Gambit accepts truths about himself he has tried to ignore. In this sweeping, multi-lifetime spanning tale, Rogue and Gambit circle each other like two immortal celestial bodies, waxing and waning, but will they ever find a moment in time to come together, or are they destined to live forever, just out of arm’s reach?


Welcome Readers, it’s the end of the week and I’m ready to review this monstrosity of a story; 122 chapters!  It’s been a long time since I read something this long and for a moment I was contemplating giving up on the story – I’ll delve into the why later – but I didn’t so now I can honestly say that I’ve read this story and can review it.  Ladies and gentlemen, I am your reviewing host, the Fan Fic Reviewer; here to review the good, the bad, and those that should never exist in fan fiction.

This is a lengthy story and it has given me quite a bit to talk about but for sake of my sanity and to not bore everyone I’m going to limit what I talk about to my synopsis of the story and four main aspects of the story.  I’m going to be delving into the story’s connection to the Marvel-Fox movies (X1 – X3 and “Wolverine Origins”), the overwhelming amount of subplots, the characters, and the romance.  There are multitudes of other things I would love to touch on but I think keeping this review focused will be best for everyone; myself and you, the Readers.

This story chronicles the events and lives of Rogue and Gambit a few years after “X-Men: The Last Stand.”  Rogue regains her powers (as suggested at the end of the film with Magneto) only now they’ve been turned up exponentially; it’s no longer limited to skin-to-skin contact, now it’s being exposed within an X radius of Rogue and the abilities she drains are permanent.  This drastic increase in power and Rogue’s lack of control cause her to live a life of near isolation.  During her isolation she befriends Gambit and they strike up a relationship that lasts hundreds of years.

There’s a lot that happens in this story and I’ll touch on several of those points when I get to the subplots, but needless to say, Rogue and Gambit live very interesting lives in this story.  Each adventure weaves into the next part of the story and becomes more inventive as the technology changes and the expansion of humans from Earth to the outer reaches of space.  There is a lot of care that went into making this story and the events flow fluidly and connecting back to the movie foundation.

Speaking of the movies, this story holds to its source pretty well, particularly in the beginning with the cure and the events of the movies.  Even Gambit’s backstory is crafted using a mixture of Wolverine Origins, the comics, and original adaptation; the flaws from Origins are explained not as throw away excuses but as future subplot developments.  For instance, the reason why Gambit’s eyes are normal in the movie is explained as a byproduct of mutation experimentation he went under by Mr. Sinister.  Things like are nice nods to the movies while making a feasible, geek foundation in the comic lore.

The story makes several call backs to the movies.  At one point it’s to the kind of love triangle from X2 between Bobby, Rogue, and Pyro when Rogue reunites with Pyro on Asteroid M.  The relationship does not move beyond platonic but it’s nice to have the story rebuild the relationship and make it far better than the one in the movies.  At another point it’s to Hank McCoy’s role as a mutant liaison for the for government which the story expands out to S.H.I.E.L.D.

Speaking of S.H.I.E.L.D., this story subtly mingles the Marvel-Fox world with the MCU.  Most of it is in the form of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s involvement, Rogue joining Stark Industries, and Gambit befriending Tony Stark as a stockholder.  However, other MCU characters are mentioned or make brief appearances such as Hawkeye, Black Widow, Hulk, Thor, Vision, Scarlett Witch, and Captain America.

Despite the roots being in the movies, the story does not limit itself to the world of the movies.  For instance, it ignores “Days of Future Past” entirely and implements events from the comics such as Asteroid M, Mutant Town, the Mutant Registry, the war/alliance between Skrull, Kree, Brood, Shi’ar, etc.  There is so much that happens that have no basis in the movies but show up in the comics and other media versions.

A lot of the events that I mentioned are among the many subplots – and there are many subplots.  The subplots are all events that take place during Rogue and Gambit’s lives, they don’t always directly affect Rogue and Gambit but they all create some impact and get wrapped up at various points in the story.  For instance, there’s an entire portion of the story (several chapters) where Rogue’s desperation takes over and makes her suicidal; she attempts various (some very creative) suicide attempts only discover she has absorbed some mutant’s powers that counter her attempts.  It’s very heartbreaking and powerful, but makes the resolution even more heartening.

There’s the subplot of how involved should Rogue be in global/galactic events since her powers are so strong and she’s accumulated so many mutant abilities.  It’s a very long subplot that carries from the middle of the story (Apocalypse part 1) to the very end.  There’s the continual debate over if Rogue should be on the front lines of military operations and wiping out the enemies entirely using her absorption powers versus her using the powers in defense.  Rogue chooses not to kill others and actively uses her powers only to send aggressive enemies back to their home or away from endangering others.

The subplot with Candra, the Thieves Guild, and the Exilir of Life is lengthy and comes up periodically throughout the story until the end draws near, then the story becomes hyper aware that the subplot needs to be wrapped up.  It’s an okay wrap up but in some ways I forgot some of the build up to it because so many other things were going on like Mojoverse, the Cult of Apocalypse, everything with Hope Summers and the M’kaan crystal…

There are a lot of subplots and for most of the story it’s fine because events (world events) happen and Gambit and Rogue would be expected to somehow get involved or be informed of those events.  However, much later into the story the number of subplots going on is almost too much and it becomes difficult to keep track – much less interested – in everything going on.  Like I honestly don’t remember much about what happened in Mojoverse because it was the least interesting among the subplots.  I also didn’t care for the Shi’ar empire’s royal line, who married whom, and Katherine’s capture then rescue.

I need to take a breather because just mentioning all the various subplots has tired me out.  Plus, I need the breather before moving on to the next exhausting topic, the characters.

Alright, I’m back from my breather.  Let’s talk about the characters, I’ll start off easy with Rogue and Gambit.  Rogue is…nothing like the Rogue from the movies.  I know that the movies don’t really allow viewers to get to know Rogue on the personal level of Wolverine but the Rogue in this story feels galaxies away from the Rogue in the movies.  By no means is this bad, the Rogue in this story is very engaging even though she seems to carry her own soapbox.  I like that she’s really smart (x2 masters’ degrees in Environmental Engineering and Aerospace Engineering) and she’s an engineer.  It gives Rogue more to rely on than her mutant powers.

Gambit is similar to movie counterpart although far more badass.  He’s an actual thief in this story and he’s quite the lady’s man.  This story takes its time in developing Gambit’s character and establishing who is at the beginning and the changes that occur over the course of the story.  I will say that the Gambit at the end of the story is not nearly as badass as the Gambit at the beginning, but I guess that’s to be expected once a man has settled down once with kids.

Now as for the other characters, there are too many!  There are characters from the MCU Avengers, Thieves Guild, Externals, X-Factor, Starjammers, Deadpool, etc.  The list is endless!

The good part about all these characters is that it truly fills out the world and helps to showcase that time passes not in months or years but decades.  So, most characters who get introduced are there shorter periods of time until age catches up to them or they retire to the background.  On the flip side, there are so many characters getting rotated in and out of the story that it becomes hard to keep each of their stories straight and how they connect with characters from other subplots.  It’s especially bad near the end of the story when there are so many characters that I started wondering if these characters were necessary.  Here are some examples of characters who I have to wonder why they were included in the story.

First one up, Dust.  She’s in the story for one scene where she is confronted by Apocalypse and his horsemen, and then never seen or heard from again.  I think she died.  Anyways, the scene does nothing for the story except showcase Apocalypse and his horsemen but they show up later, and the terror that the group causes was already hitting home without this scene.  It feels like a waste of a character.

Next up is Quentin Quire.  He’s in the story for a good chunk of the time that Rogue is the Warden on the moon prison where he is an inmate for years and gives Rogue a hard time.  The next time he appears is when humanity is preparing for its first attempt at space exploration.  He’s the communication link between the ship and the headquarters as he’s the only telepath that can use the ship’s cerebro system to communicate across the galaxy.  During this time, he and Rogue have telepathic sex a couple of times but no real relationship forms and he suddenly drops out of the picture entirely.  About the only role he truly played is giving Rogue class 5 telepathy.

Finally, there’s Rachel Summers.  The story jumps to her a few times but then she suddenly disappears from the story once she reaches the safety of Sanctuary.  She’s used to set up the conflict between Hope Summers and Rogue but due to her sudden appearance then absence I wonder if she was truly necessary.  She feels like a throw away character and someone I didn’t need to spend any time following for this story.

With the number of characters in this story I know there are more that I could name who I wondered if they really were needed for this story, but I need to move on to the last topic; the meat of the story, the romance.

Normally, I’d say “slow build” for romances like this where the characters start off as friends and through the progression of time become more than friends, but “slow” seems too light of a word for this romance.  This romance is like the human evolution type of slow; small changes and takes centuries to see results.  This is not a flaw; I appreciate that the slow build is over 100 years.  I just find it a bit funny that this is a literal slow build romance.

What hurts the romance is that it’s the main plot of the story and the climax for it (Rogue and Gambit finally get together) happens with 30 chapters left to go.  Normally, following the climax is another chapter or two of falling action to wrap up loose ends and subplots, but this story took 30 chapters of falling action to wrap up every single subplot and to create new ones (Rogue finally touching Gambit).  It over stays its welcome.

Near the end, if feels less like a story about Rogue and Gambit coming together and more about all the subplots that need to get resolved.  The last 30 chapters focus more on anything else going on and when it returns to Rogue and Gambit it’s to show more scenes of Netflix and chill (literal and euphemism) and dinners with Gambit’s family.  The scenes begin to feel like filler while the story pieces together the conclusions for the subplots.

Hell, even the ending has nothing to do with the romance but everything to do with not abusing power and Rogue saving (x) people by taking them to a new universe.  It just falls flat so hard that I really started to not care.  I no longer cared about the Rogue and Gambit romance because they were already together, what the hell did I care if they could touch or not?  I didn’t care about the Mojoverse subplot or what Mystique was doing.  I didn’t care about what Hope Summers was up to or the Cult of Apocalypse.  I just ceased caring because the climax had come about a bit too soon.  At least it did for me.

Readers, this has been an exhausting experience to read this story and then review it.  I’m not touching on all the great things in this story or all the things that bothered me because there is just sooooo much in this story.  So, instead of going into a rant I will simply say that if you are an X-Man fan (comics and movies) and you have the time to spare to read this story, go for it.  It is a lengthy story and I don’t regret reading it.  I have been taken on a roller coaster rise and this story entertained me, made me cry, made me angry, and made me smile.  It’s thought out and thorough; maybe just a bit too ambitious.  But at the end of the day, it’s worth checking out.


Stars: 7.5/10

Spit It Out Review

Title: Spit It Out                                                            Author: Extra-Loki

Original Source: Avengers                                             Character(s): Tony S. & Loki

Rating:  M                                                                     Genre(s): Angst / Hurt / Comfort

Chapter(s): 1                                                                   Status: Complete

Author’s Synopsis: So this is a story for rubberbandgirlme on Tumblr, They asked for a fic based on the song ‘Spit it out’ by IAMX (My favorite band so I couldn’t say no) Loki and Tony help each other with their inner turmoil in the most unhealthy way.  LokixTony, hurt and comfort, slight smut, okay maybe quite smutty but not too much detail.


Welcome Readers, I was going through some reviews I had started a while back but never posted and found a review for this Avengers fan fic.  My initial review was a bit scathing and initial rating was 2/10; I read this and wondered if the story was truly as bad as I made it seem.  So I reread the story and rewrote my review.  Ladies and gentlemen, I am your reviewing host, the Fan Fic Reviewer; here to review the good, the bad, and those that should never exist in fan fiction.

Written as an answer to a request, the story takes place between Avengers and Avengers 2.  Tony goes out to a seedy bar and meets a now mortal Loki (punishment from Odin), they exchange words that lead to a pick up line and one-night stand.  The one-night becomes a string of booty calls as both men try to fill their own voids.

This is not a story.  A story consists of three parts: beginning, middle, and end.  This story has a strong beginning but questionable middle and not end.  I would give it a pass on the lack of plot if the story was smut (it’s not) but even smut has three parts: foreplay, sex, and after sex.  This fic does not meet these basic qualifications.

Rather, this is the start of an interesting drama, angst-ridden, dysfunctional romance story.  As I mentioned, it has a strong beginning.  The bar and the conversation that Tony and Loki share, it sets the foundation to a great slash (yaoi) story.  It just doesn’t take it far enough resulting in this not-quite-a-story fic.

Now, if the fic was never meant to be a full-fledged story then it should reduce itself to a BDSM smut fic.  That’s part of the beauty of smut fics, like porn they don’t require much setup or a plot.  The fic could address how this dysfunctional relationship started and the amazing, animalistic sex that these two former enemies engage.  All that would be required is to leave out the events and scenes that are more emotionally charged, like Tony’s nightmares and Loki’s guilt.  Just mention that they are using each other fill in these voids that they have and let the fic be about how they accomplish this goal.  Done!  No need for complications.

However, the fic – as it is written – does bring to light the components that would make this a compelling, complicated story.  Aspects like Tony’s nightmares, Loki’s guilt, how the two parties avoid bringing love into the relationship, and how the two characters feel compelled to comfort the other.  These aspects are never fully explored but mentioned in different sections; almost like the fic is trying to tease Readers that there is a deeper meaning to the relationship but it can’t be bothered to explore it.

This is a personal grievance with stories that do this – tease more than it offers – because these stories set up great concepts but won’t go balls to the wall to deliver on these concepts.  I hate it, it speaks of lazy writing.

Then there’s the meat of the story – i.e. Tony and Loki’s relationship – its explained in exposition.  For instance, the story tells how some times after sex Tony will have a nightmare that causes him to awake screaming.  Loki will comfort Tony and eventually calm him; sometimes in calming Tony, Loki gets a bit sexual which triggers Tony into a primal state where he forcibly screws Loki while holding back his arms in a vice-like grip.  This sounds like an emotional experience but it loses its power because it’s all told in exposition.  The Readers are told Loki thinks of this as punishment for what he did to Tony in Avengers and how Tony feels guilty in the morning, but Readers don’t get to read the characters experiencing these feelings.  It all falls flat.

Exposition has a purpose when trying to bring the Readers up to speed on key events, but in the case of this fic it’s unnecessary.  In fact, it damages the narrative.  It makes this dysfunctional relationship between Tony and Loki feel dull.  They feel like dolls, just going through the motions while the exposition says what they’re meant to feel.

This is a story that has potential yet doesn’t seem to want to create a story that makes use of that potential.  It’s a pity too because there’s great material to build a story.

In closing, I don’t think I can recommend this fic to others.  It’s stuck between being a story and not.  It couldn’t decide to be a smut fic or a narrative about a dysfunctional relationship.  It has too much exposition to make it compelling and no ultimate conclusion.  If anything this story shows the importance of having a focused goal when writing a story; if the goal is to showcase the dysfunctional relationship, then show the relationship.  If the goal is to have a smut fic, then focus on the smut.  Without this focus the fic falls short.


Stars: 4.5/10